Dilemma

The date was 22^nd March 2020, a Janata Curfew was announced by the Prime Minister due to Covid - 19 or Corona Virus as is popularly known which was devastating the world! In the address to the nation on the issue the PM looked very worried. The Social media, as is the wont, was carrying horrible stories of the impact of the virus. The virus doesn’t fly in the air but the fear was all over in the air. Newspapers and the visual media were abuzz with the data of number of people affected, number of people dead all over the world. Many countries had gone in for lockdown and expectation of a complete lockdown of India was high. Next day government announced suspension of all domestic flights from 24^th March. Our son, Vijay, was employed in Mumbai & staying alone in a single room apartment. His office also announced “work from home” on 23^rd. We wanted him to be with us during this health crisis period. Luckily he could get a ticket in the last flight from Mumbai to Belgaum on 24^th. An Ola cab was booked on 23^rd for the next day. We were happy. But late in the evening taxis and cab services were officially stopped. News started pouring in of Police actions on the people moving on the roads of Mumbai. Whatsapp and Twitter were flooded with the videos of people getting beaten up. The anxiety returned, whether Vijay will be able to make it to the airport? We had a very disturbed sleep that night. 24^th Morning the Ola driver duly informed cancellation of the ride. Well intentioned, he also advised Vijay not to take a chance of going on the road as he may also be beaten up. TV channels were showing the empty streets and the police bandobast in Mumbai. We in Belgaum unable to do anything left the situation to unwind itself. In Mumbai, Vijay, decided to check for himself and carrying his backpack he went on the road to find a conveyance. He found nothing. He called up a couple of friends to drop him to the air port but the dread of police action dissuaded them from helping. A police constable gave some hope when he encouragingly informed Vijay that some City buses were plying & he may get a bus to the airport if he waited. When even after one hour of waiting no bus was in sight, Vijay decided to walk down the distance of about 5 KM to the airport. The streets were empty and police were stopping the four and two wheelers but not the pedestrians. Vijay could reach the airport in time.

Meanwhile in Belgaum we were full of anxiety, what if the flight gets cancelled? What if the plane is not properly sanitized? What if there is a complete lockdown and he has to stay back in Mumbai, how will he manage his meals? The anxiety reduced a lot when he boarded the flight. I started for the Belgaum airport to receive my son. Belgaum roads were all empty with barricades at many places. The concern, the fear of the people of possibility of getting sick was pulpable and it added to the efficiency of the administration. Some distance away I saw a masked man waving me to stop the car; he was carrying a travel bag. I slowed the car and stopped near him, ready to give him a lift . Then suddenly a thought occurred, what if the gentleman is Corona positive? Is it safe healthwise to take him in my car? The whatsapp videos& messages all started flashing simultaneously in my mind. The negativity crept in. I politely lied to the gentleman about my destination being close by and moved on. Traveled one kilometer & the nervousness subsided a bit. Having missed out to help someone in need brought in the feeling of guilt. I pulled the car to a side and waited to see if someone gave the man a lift. A truck and a van passed by, I could not see him in either of them but then it was not possible to see everyone in the moving vehicles. I tried to convince my conscience that the man must be in one of them. As I was getting late for the airport, I started moving to the airport.

At the airport Vijay came out after scanning for the temperature. He looked happy but pale. He was worried if there was someone Corona + in the flight! I did not hug him. I asked him to sit at the back seat- Social Distancing! At home he was made to keep his belongings outside for sanitizing and first thing he was to do was take a Dettol water bath. The fear was making us take extra precautions.

Next day the 21 day complete lockdown of the country was announced. Within a couple of days of the lockdown the disturbing news of plight of migrant workers started making the front pages of the newspapers. The TV Channels were flashing the pictures of hordes of the workers with their families on the road walking. I once again got in the desolated mood for not having helped a man in need. The theory of Karma started making rounds in my conscience. A few days still and came the shocking news of Tablighi Jamaat and Markaz. There was a sudden spike in the number of Corona infected people. Innocent, unconnected people were also getting affected. The guilt feeling of not helping the needy started giving way to a more matured logic of stay safe, stay healthy. The feeling of guilt subsided but dilemma persists if I did the correct thing.